I was reading the other day a book entitled Human Sexuality by Roger Hock. There was a scenario that was brought up when looking at the section that deals with love styles. (There are six of them, by the way). It was about a woman who expected her lover to just automatically know what she wants and what feels good to her by intuition and the way her body responds to him. She was unrealistic in thinking that her lover would just know what she wants. I am a firm believer in closed mouths don’t get fed. I believe that for many avenues more than sex. If you want something, you have to speak up or else you may never get it. The worse thing that can happen in speaking up or asking is someone saying no. It won’t break you, but it will encourage you to look at yourself or situation a little more.
So more about the six love styles, they are eros, ludos, storge, mania, pragma and agape.
Eros – They are hot and passionate and mistake lust at first sight for love at first sight (in my opinion), and it’s not sustainable.
Ludos – They like the idea of being in a relationship more than being in a relationship, so they hop around a lot from one partner to another.
Storge – They want to establish a strong friendship before they get romantically involved with someone. They tend to remain friends with past partners because of the friendships they formed.
Mania – They are possessive, demanding, controlling, and jealous. They have a tendency to resort to stalking and physical violence, whether it be on themselves or their partner, whenever they feel there is trouble in the relationship.
Pragma – They tend to go for a partner’s qualifications. They have a checklist or basic requirements, and being in a relationship has to make good sense. It’s like a business transaction or acquisition being in a relationship with them because it is rationally sound.
Agape – The word itself means divine love or brotherly love. People with this love style are very giving of themselves in a relationship, even to their detriment. They put their partner’s wants and needs before their own and expect nothing from them in return.
I can identify with a couple of these styles, but rest assured that Mania is not one of them. I have attracted partners with that particular love style in the past, but I had to look at what in me was attracting them. I had to make some changes for the better in myself and grow from my past experiences. Today, I am happy to not have to worry about stalkers anymore. It feels good.
What about you My Lovelies? Which love style best attributes to you? Are you growing from past relationships or mistakes to make yourself the best version of you possible? In an ideal world, everyone would be Agape, but somehow it is not an ideal love style in a strong, functional relationship.